Picture yourself in the middle of a crowded room, so crowded that people are getting closer and closer to you to the point you feel uneasy with their proximity; if you were in a situation like this, what would you do? You can’t even move to find the exit, and at this point you can’t breathe either, you’re nervous and this is just wrong!
Now imagine that you build a tall fence around you, this fence gives you the much-needed space you craved for, the air feels different and the people you had around are behind that tall fence that now protects you and keeps you safe. Well, my friends, that fence is equals to a solid set of boundaries.
Boundaries provide a safe space for you to interact with others without feeling overly exposed or vulnerable, and let’s be honest, nobody likes to feel like that. Vulnerability makes us want to escape and hide to protect us. Isolation due to vulnerability might lead you to other mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression to mention some.
There are boundaries for every single situation we are facing in life, here are the main ones:
⁃ Emotional: these protect your emotional status.
⁃ Physical: these keep your personal space at a level you can tolerate.
⁃ Material: these are your possessions in general.
⁃ Time: how you spend
These boundaries are meant to protect and keep the balance of your emotional status.
For example, when friends start to “name calling” by your physical appearance, this might disrupt your emotional status and make you feel vulnerable (if you let them break your boundary) a clear example of a strong boundary on emotional area is: explaining clearly that this particular comment didn’t make you happy, and that you think you deserve better than this. To stand for yourself will make you feel balanced and your emotional boundary was not damaged in any way. Now on the contrary, if you just let it pass by telling yourself – it’s ok it’s just once, I can endure this name calling game, I shall think of something else instead… well that’s a very broken boundary that will tell the name caller that he or she can keep doing this to you because you’re “ok” with it.
Apply this to every area of your life, it’s better to have the right people around that respects your limits because they are empathic when you talked about them.