Our personal space is divided in to three main sections: social space, personal space and intimate space.
So, we understand that these stages mark a delimitation of the space people is allowed to cross depending on the stage they fall in to.
- Social section is just about regular people, strangers passing by on the street.
- Personal section is for those whom we have some regular contact with, such as coworkers or people we approach to buy something to eat on the street.
- The intimate section stands for people you’re extremely close to, it could be your mother, grandmother or your significant other.
But how to keep this boundary in social situations? such as making friends from other countries?
Let’s say that you don’t like hugs, and for many people especially western people, we are just ok to run and hug our friends, and even kiss them on the cheek! Such innocent act that can paralyze your Asian friend from head to toe! Oh my! so embarrassing, but it’s ok! you can easily explain to your very open-minded slash hugger western friend, that you’re not comfortable with hugs, and we shall understand. Just keep it simple, speak clearly and if they can’t understand, then please call the police!
(Based on a true story… oh! But no police involved Haha!)
Material boundaries are related to money or possessions. Healthy material boundaries help us to identify who, when, and how are we going to share our belongings with others.
For example, it’s ok to help your coworker if he or she needs a phone to make a quick phone call, a few minutes will do, but what if they take one hour? This is a clear example of a material boundary violation.
When our belongings are stolen, mistreated, or damaged by people who took advantage of our generosity is when we must show our limits to prevent this from happening again.
How do you use your time? When we establish how much time we will spend on certain daily activities, is when we are setting healthy time boundaries.
These are violated when something or someone demands more time than the one, we initially established.
Try to solve it by expressing your reasons calmly and logically.
As I mentioned earlier, there are boundaries for almost every aspect of our daily lives. Remember to set them by being true to yourself, think about you and only you whenever you’re setting or readjusting your boundaries.
Let’s remember that even though some might sound “weird” to others, is still completely valid to set them either way; these are your shields that will protect you from possible harmful encounters, so there’s no right or wrong, there’s only you, how you feel, and how you choose to navigate life.
I sincerely hope this small article helped you to understand a bit of what boundaries are and how to set them in order to maintain your emotional health. Remember that these are not static, you can readjust them at any time.
Thank you so much for reading! And remember, never stop Mentivating!